Stupid Chinese Sayings, with Commentary 4

Make the crooked sraight,
Make the straight to flow.
Gather water, fire and light.
Bring the world to a single point.

Or not.

Stupid Chinese Sayings, with Commentary 3

Washing at dawn:
Rinse away dreams.
Protect the gods within,
And clarify the inner spirit.

Don't forget to rinse and repeat!

Stupid Chinese Sayings, with Commentary 2

This is the moment of embarking.
All auspicious signs are in place.

Then you fall on your ass.

Stupid Chinese Sayings and Commentary 1

Wind in the cave;
Movement in stillness.
Power in silence.

So much snoring. I can’t tell Joey from Rumiko. When both fall silent, I rip a long fart in Alex’s face. He burrows closer to the bend in my knee.

At a conference

Ryan hadn’t seen Todd in two days and Laura had disappeared for nearly a week, ever since the last day of their interviews. Ryan spent the last full day in San Francisco by the pool, drinking beer and trying to beat his hangover he’d had since their second day in town, when he’d met up with his ex-girlfriend from the Peace Corps. Todd drank full-throttle with friends from Hawaii. Ryan took a taxi to the airport to catch their flight, assuming that Todd would find his own way. Laura showed up in a terrible state, coming down after two days of tripping on LSD. She nearly walked by Ryan in the boarding line, saw him and stumbled, then hung on to him while they waited to board. She and Ryan had exit row seats on the starboard side; Todd had seats two rows back but on the other side of the plane, a 747-400, a big one. Before take off the flight attendants checked that Ryan and Laura were comfortable “performing the duties” required of an exit row passenger. They nodded and JaLaura n fell asleep as soon as the attendant was gone. She slept all the way to Tokyo. Ten and a half hours, without a break. Ryan woke her up when they landed and asked if maybe she had anything with her, any drugs. She shook her head and staggered down the aisle of the plane but was steady and swagger-free going through customs and immigration.

A Mocha UCC blended coffee can

We keep our loose change in you and take you to the bank when you’ve done your job. We reach inside and lessen you when we want to buy beer, or machine popcorn, or top off a bill for a payment at the door. Watch out, or you’ll end up dented and outside, like your friends.

April 29, 2003

You were sunny, and we went iking near the house. We left at 9:34, hiked up high enough to see the house, then turned around. We stopped at a festival held at the car park at the base of the mountain and watched local people and Shinto priests fire walk over hot coals. After Rumiko had showered we went to Tsutaya to rend “Bad Company”. Rumiko bought books and we had lunch at McDonald’s. We both tried their new something-or-other burger. We had to ask what was on it because we couldn’t tell from the picture at the counter. We bought rods to hang outside the bedroom window, to hang futon from, and beer and cat food, too, at Musashi, and then came home. It was a windy day and the futon that Rumiko had hung up before we went hiking had blown down. We had curry for dinner, sat with the cat, watched most of the video, and went to bed around 10:00. I had disjointed dreams and woke up in a fright when the telephone started beeping, not ringing, but beeping after a heavy wind had slapped the curtain against the phone stand and knocked it over. I was sure my family was trying to call to say my father had died.